Caring for a loved one in assisted living can be a challenging experience for anyone. It can be especially difficult when your loved one wants to return home. It’s important to understand that these feelings are normal, and it’s natural for your loved one to feel homesick.
However, it’s important to explain to them why they are in assisted living and why it’s necessary for them to receive care.
In this article, we’ll provide a few ways you can talk to an elderly parent or loved one in an assisted living facility who wants to return home and things you can do to make the experience easier.
Why Would Someone In Assisted Living Want To Go Home?
It’s not uncommon for an older adult in assisted living to long for the comfort and familiarity of their own home. After all, their home is filled with cherished memories, prized possessions, and the little things that make life all the more enjoyable. However, beyond these sentimental reasons, there are many practical reasons why an older person may want to go home.
For starters, many elderly individuals in assisted living have simply reached a point in their lives where they require more independence and autonomy. Though senior communities do their best to provide a supportive and caring environment, they can’t always offer the same level of control that comes with living in one’s own home. By returning home, an elderly person can regain a sense of agency over their daily life and decisions.
Additionally, assisted living costs can be astronomical for some elderly individuals and their families. By moving back home, these seniors can potentially save themselves and their family members a significant amount of money. This financial freedom can also allow for better care options or better experiences outside of caregiving.
Finally, let’s remember the emotional and social toll that leaving one’s home can take on a person. For many elderly individuals, their old home symbolizes their identity, independence, and self-worth. Being uprooted from this environment can bring feelings of sadness, loss, and isolation. Going back home can offer a return to these aspects of life and lessen the strain on seniors’ emotions.
Therefore, it’s understandable for a senior citizen in assisted living to want to go home. And while it’s important to consider the practicalities of such a decision, we must also acknowledge our seniors’ emotional and social needs and the importance of feeling secure and comfortable in their own space.
Can I Take My Parent Back Home?
We all want the best for our aging loved ones. Sometimes, we find that their current living situation is not providing them with the necessary care and attention they require.
It is a difficult moment when a loved one in assisted living expresses the desire to go home. It is common for seniors to feel lonely, bored, or isolated, triggering feelings of nostalgia or loss of control. While some seniors adapt well to assisted living, others may struggle to transition from the comfort of their homes to a new environment. However, while returning home or moving to another facility is an option, it is not always the best.
It’s important to acknowledge that each senior has unique needs, preferences, and life experiences. Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to addressing their desire to go home. However, it is crucial to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and respect.
But what if finding another senior living community isn’t an option or a viable solution for the real problem? The problem being that these facilities aren’t home?
Talking To A Loved One In Assisted Living That Can’t Go Home
When a senior loved one asks to go home, it can lead to difficult conversations. Here are a few pointers to help you navigate this territory and make the best decision. By having these tough conversations, you may be able to remedy the situation without needing to change living conditions or medical care.
Ask them why they want to go home
As difficult as the situation may be, it is important to approach your loved one with a positive and empathetic attitude. Show them that you care and understand their concerns. Spend time with them and listen to their feelings and thoughts. It could be that they are feeling lonely or disconnected from their familiar environment. Perhaps they miss their independence, or they may have other unresolved issues that must be addressed.
By talking things through with your elder loved onet, you can gain deeper insight into their situation and find solutions together. Consider alternative assisted living options that suit your loved one’s needs and preferences. This could include home care services, adult day care centers, or apartment-style senior living communities.
Really listen to their concerns
Before jumping to any conclusions about leaving the assisted living community or making any drastic decisions, take a moment to listen to older adults mindfully. Listening isn’t just about hearing what they say; it’s about truly understanding their feelings and emotions. It’s about discovering what makes them happy and what is causing their unhappiness.
Listening is the best way to uncover a wealth of big and small information that might be causing your aging family member discomfort or distress. Of course, only some things that you hear will be easily remedied, but simply being there to empathize and show compassion can go a long way towards diffusing the situation.
Discuss the reality of the current situation
Many seniors may not realize how much care they are receiving in their care facility and may not fully understand the caregiving responsibilities requiring replacement if they leave.
It’s recommended to approach the situation gently and respectfully, acknowledging your parent’s desire for independence while emphasizing the importance of their health and safety. Encourage your senior parent to consider the various aspects of their current living situation, such as access to medical care and assistance with daily tasks.
If family caregivers are unavailable to provide the necessary care, it’s important to communicate this honestly to your parent. While this conversation may be potentially difficult or uncomfortable, it’s crucial to weigh the risks and benefits of leaving assisted living or a nursing home. Sometimes, it may be necessary to consider alternative living arrangements or support services to ensure your loved one receives the care they require.
Try fixing the issues
When deciding whether to move your senior parent out of assisted living, it is important to take a step back and assess the situation. Is there anything that can be done to remedy the issues that your parent is speaking of? If the complaints are related to poor care, it is important to speak with the facility supervisors and address the issue head-on.
However, if your parent has significant memory problems, addressing their concerns may be more challenging. In these situations, reassurance and redirection can be incredibly helpful in easing confusion and agitation. It is important to remember that repeated requests to go home may not necessarily indicate a desire to leave the assisted living facility, but rather may be a sign of underlying issues.
Conclusion
Deciding whether or not to move your parent out of an assisted living facility is a complex and personal decision. It is essential to take the time to listen to your parent and understand their perspective before making any decisions.
If leaving the facility is necessary, consider alternative assisted living options that offer independence and care access. By doing so, you can ensure that your senior parent will receive the support they need while maintaining as much autonomy as possible.
